Mission Accepted
by Emythae
Summary: The Gundam Pilots must go under cover to discover what Treize is planning... as girls... *SECOND CHAPTER UP* (No authors note no more)
1. Spy Girls and Sweaters

Mission Accepted  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing, or any of the characters. I don't own anything in this fanfic for that matter. Okay? No La Chateau, no Victoria's Secret, no Zoe, no nothing. Got it? Don't sue me.  
  
Mission Accepted: Chapter 1  
  
"What??" Duo yelled on the phone. "There's no way!!! The war is back on? Oh. new war. What do you mean he isn't dead? Decoy? Decoy my." Heero woke up, and slowly but surely (or maybe not surely, but definitely slowly) got out of bed to see what Duo's problem was. "What do you mean our Gundams weren't destroyed? The girl didn't push the right button? It was a girl? Wu-man should get a kick out of that. Mission?" Duo asked. "Okay, see you at one Sally!" Heero sat up, "What was that about?" "Apparently the Treize that Wu-man killed was a 'decoy'" Duo said with extra emphasis on the 'decoy'. "How the heck did he stay hidden for two years if he was alive?" Heero asked. "Beats me," Duo replied. "Sally has a mission for us. We're supposed to meet her at the mall at 1:00 sharp. So 1:30 it is." "Why the mall?" Heero asked. "No clue," Duo answered. "Why all the questions Evil Kenevil?" "What did you just call me?" Heero asked, twitching like a pocket pikachu. "Uh." Duo let out a nervous laugh and ran out the door. "Come back here you braided baka!" Heero yelled and ran after him.  
  
At 1:30 a very pained Duo entered a mall along with a very happy Heero. "I think I may have stretched your braid our longer," Heero commented. "Shut up." "Nice to see you both!" Hilde cried like a rabid TRL fan. "We have a really important mission for you!" Sally walked up and added, "That I'm sure you'll be reluctant to accept." Then interrupting Sally (much to her dismay) came Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. "Hello, nice to see you again!" said Quatre politely. "." greeted Trowa. "Hi," was the monotonous and monosyllabic greeting from Wufei. "Anyways," said Sally interrupting their reunion, "this is your mission." There was a long pause. "Go on," coaxed Duo. "Okay, well we need to infiltrate oz. We need espionage. Spies. We need, you guys." All the guys started at her. "We'll need a disguise, they know what we look like," Duo piped up. "Well, this is where it gets difficult." Hilde trailed off and whispered something in Duo's ear. "WHAT?!?" Duo shrieked. "I am NOT dressing up as a girl and playing spy!" Wufei and Trowa paled. "Mission accepted," said Heero. All of the Gundam pilots stared at him. "You're agreeing to dress as a weak onna?" Wufei asked in disbelief. Heero nodded. Hilde and Sally looked as if they had cracked some of their ribs trying not to laugh. "I'm in," Quatre whispered. Trowa and Wufei stared. "What the heck, I'm in too!" Duo yelled. More staring more and cracked ribs. Trowa sighed and nodded his head, as if to say 'I'm in' "." from Wufei. "I'm in." Hilde and Sally both lost it and they both fell to the floor laughing. "I honestly didn't think it would be that easy!" Hilde remarked. "You owe me $10, Wufei agreed in his own free will!" Sally proclaimed. Hilde grumbled and handed over $10. "Now what?" Duo asked. "Now we give all of you hair extensions and--" "Whoa," said Duo, "What about me?" "You just get your hair styled, don't worry!" Hilde replied. Duo sighed in relief, "No scissors." Hilde nodded in agreement. "And after that, shopping for clothes!" All the Gundam Pilots paled. "WHAT?!?" they all shouted in unison. "You didn't think you could just wear your regular clothes did you? Relena, Cathy, and Dorothy are coming to help with the clothes shopping." 5 certain Gundam Pilots facefaulted. And at that moment, a miracle happened. Trowa spoke for the first time in a week. "We're all going to die," he said. "Agreed," said all the Gundam Pilots with the exception of Quatre. "We shouldn't say that! We should think happy thoughts! It's a happy world after all!" Quatre gushed. Heero took out a gun and tried to shoot himself. That's when he realized that. "Guys, I think I have a bullet-proof head." Wufei shot Heero and sure enough, the bullet bounced off Heero's head. Trowa started to laugh hysterically. "However, we have somebody else to help you act.," Sally trailed off and cleared her throat, "feminine, as we cannot be available." All the Gundam Pilots were in shock. "We really are all going to die," Trowa commented. "Meet Zoe," Sally introduced and a teenage girl, about 17, with flaming red hair, although slightly shorter than Duo. She was dressed in dark blue, denim bellbottoms with a tank top. She looked at Wufei. "Weak O--" Wufei was interrupted by an extremely hard punch in the stomach. "I am not weak, get used to it. Since I refuse to left alone with 5 guys, I brought 4 girls with me! Meet Mia!" A blonde girl stepped out, her hair in a braid. She was wearing blue denim bellbottoms and a long sleeved green shirt. "This is Breezy." A girl with brown hair that reached her shoulders. She wore a green sweater with a green shirt underneath and brown pants. "Paused for a moment and then asked the Gundam pilots, "Is her sweater brown or green?" ""Green," was the reply from all. Breezy started to have a fit, "It's BROWN!!!" The Gundam pilots watched, as Breezy had a fit over her green/brown sweater. Finally Quatre spoke up. "Let's all be happy and get on with the introductions," Quatre piped up. Breezy glared but shut up. "That's a first," stated Zoe. More glaring. Zoe cleared her throat, "Anyways, this is Kio." A goth stepped out. She looked depressed, as most Goths do. Zoe looked at Kio and then at Heero, and laughed hysterically. Zoe cleared her throat. "Ya, well anyways," Zoe continued as she wiped her eyes. "This is Lisa." A girl with reddish-brown brown hair jumped out. She smiled and waved. Wufei muttered something that included 'weak onna' in it. Lisa gasped, "That wasn't very nice! Let's all be happy!" Quatre applauded. "Ya, so this is Duo, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei everybody! Now we're all introduced, as the girls all know each other, " Zoe said. Just then, Relena, Cathy and Dorothy showed up. "Well," Zoe started with an evil grin, "shall we get started? 


	2. Shopping and the Scary Skirt of DOOM!

Mission Accepted: Chapter 2  
  
See Disclaimer on the First Page. I don't own anything contained in this fanfic.  
  
  
  
"Wha." Duo trailed off "WHAT?!?" Wufei yelled. "Are you positive this is necessary?" Quatre asked. "Is this part of the mission?" Heero asked. Trowa didn't say anything. He just sighed and hit his head against the wall. "Well what did you think I'd do?" Zoe asked. "I didn't really think about it, but I refuse to go in there," Duo stated. The group was standing outside Victoria's Secret. "What, you'd rather go to La Senza?" Hilde asked. "Whatever happened to the Gap?" Duo asked pleadingly. "It doesn't sell any lingerie," Zoe repled.  
  
"WHAT?!? I AM NOT WEARING WEAKLING LINGERIE!!!!" Wufei shrieked. A lot of people stared at him. Zoe grabbed his hair and took a pair of scissors out of her purse. "Coming," Wufei said quickly.  
  
Zoe dragged Heero and Trowa into the store. Quatre, Duo and Wufei came in willingly, mostly because Mia now had the scissors, but they came willingly all the same.  
  
Duo spotted the dresses and kept a safe distance between him and them. "God, it's not like they're going to bite you!" Zoe muttered. Mia hissed at the dresses and Kio hid behind Wufei. Zoe sighed. "You're worse than the guys!" "Take that back!" Mia yelled. "Well it's true! You don't see Heero hissing! Sure, he's pouring disinfectant on the dresses, but at least he had the guts to go near them!" Duo took a hanger from the shirt rack and poked at the dress. "Is it alive Maxwell?" Duo asked. "No," was Duo's shaky answer. "Oh for the love of god!" Zoe yelled. She picked up 2 of the dresses, one in cobalt blue, on in black, both soaking in disinfectant. "Whom are you buying those for?" Duo asked. "You and Wufei of course! You have to learn to face your fears!" WHAT?!?" Wufei yelled. "GOD NO! I WILL NOT! KISMA!" "At least we don't have to," Heero sighed. "What color do you want Heero, yellow or forest green?" Heero paled. "Green," was his reply. Trowa looked around nervously for an exit. "Yellow. nah, red. no even better! You can have the cobalt blue one Trowa!" Zoe exclaimed. "What?" Wufei asked hopefully. "I don't have to wear one?" "You still have to wear one. the pink one." Zoe replied. Mia laughed while Wufei froze with shock. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you," Zoe threatened. "Why? It seems like a good idea." "Seems being the key word," Zoe smirked. "Notice the section of poofy dresses with lace and frilly things." "NO! ANYTHING BUT THE WEDDING SECTION!!!" Mia yelled. "It's a sanctuary of the evil penguins," Buri gasped. "And sparkly teacups," Quatre whispered. Everybody stared at the two of them. That's when the Gundam Pilots realized it. "Where did Hilde and Dorothy go?" Quatre asked. "And Relena, Sally, and Catherine?" Heero asked. "They abandoned us!" Duo cried, running down the shoe isles. "Don't jump to conclusions Maxwell," Wufei snapped. "He might as well, because they did," Zoe smirked. "They left us with. these. lunatics?" Trowa asked. "Thank you!" Lisa and Buri thanked. "Yep!" Zoe replied happily. "You're stuck with us!" Zoe laughed evilly. "We're all going to die," Trowa sighed. "Quatre, since you've been so co-operative, go pick out your own dress," Zoe said as the other 4 GW pilot's mouths dropped. Quatre did a happy squeal and ran amuck up and down the dress isles. He came back with a silver mini-dress. Zoe raised an eyebrow but took the dress anyways. "Do you want a dress Mia?" "No way in @!#*" Mia replied indignantly. There was a pause. "Where did Lisa and Heero go?" "Heero is over," Duo said pointing to a clothes rack. Heero was walking past the clothes rack, back and forth, back and forth. "What are y--" Wufei began. "Shhh.. It speaks," Heero interrupted. Heero walked past the clothes rack. "Pick me!" squeaked the clothes rack. All the guys were appalled, never have seen a talking clothes rack before. All the girls just sighed however. "Get out Lisa," Kio grumbled menacingly. Lisa jumped out of the clothes rack. "Peek-a-boo," Lisa cooed. All the guys screamed and Duo jumped into Mia's arms. Mia stared and promptly dropped him. "Kuso, I wasn't scared, I was just. acting," Wufei grumbled. "And I'm an asparagus," Buri muttered sarcastically. "Wait, I am. cancel that." "Ya right Wufei." Trowa started, "onna!" "WHY YOU LITTLE!" Wufei started and then tackled him. "Guys, no bloodshed on the carpet, it isn't ours!" Kio yelled separating Wufei's fist from Trowa's face. Trowa rubbed his nose and walked away from the GW pilots. "I'm going to be brave guys, if I'm not back in 15 minutes, sic the cashier on me." The GW pilots gasped, in shock and terror. They all watched in horror as Trowa went to pick out his lingerie. "I'm coming with you! I can't let you face this alone!" Quatre shouted and followed Trowa. "Oh for God's sake, it just underwear! We're all going since that's what we came for in the first place!" Zoe said. She looked at the rest of the GW pilots, one (Duo) in whom was quivering in fear. "That includes you."  
  
After several attempts to de-tach Wufei and Duo from various shelves, Kio decided to do something drastic. Kio got an evil smirk on her face. She ran to the skirt isle and returned with a. "What the heck is that thing?" Duo asked. "Kisma Maxwell, it's a. well it was a cow at one point in time," Wufei stated. "It's a black, leather, mini-skirt," Kio stated. "That is not a mini-skirt," Duo objected. "For one thing, it's only like. 6 inches long, and it has like. a zippered crotch?" Kio rolled her eyes. "What, haven't you seen Coyote Ugly, the Russian chick has one. Now try it on." "WHAT?!?" Duo yelled, "There is no way in--" "Yes there is! I'm buying it for you. You'll just have to wear clubbing." "Please, god no," Duo pleaded meekly. "There is maybe a way you could get out of this." Kio trailed. "Anything!" Duo yelled. "You let us buy some clothes that will cover over 6 inches of your body, and underwear and a swimsuit without complaint. You complain, I buy that skirt for you and force you into it to go clubbing." Duo ran to the lingerie aisle. "Anyone else for a skirt?" Kio asked. Wufei ran to the lingerie aisle.  
  
A few minutes later all the GW pilots and the girls walked out of the shop and Zoe ran across the mall hallway. "What the. La. cha. cha-ti-oo? La cha-ti-oo?" Duo sounded out. "La Chateau!" Zoe exclaimed. Mia glared at her. "Uh uh." Mia started. "Oh yes you are!" Zoe said with a smirk. Heero got the idea, grinned, and grabbed Mia's arm. "Hey, what do you. think. you're." Mia started as she looked around at Wufei, Trowa, and Duo. They all had equally maniacal grins on their faces. "Uh guys. guys. can we talk about this. guys? Guys. uh. you aren't really going to. are you? Guys." Mia stammered. The GW pilots (with the exception of nice Quatre) grabbed either an arm or a leg of Mia's and started to carry her into La Chateau. "Guys! I was going to go in! Really! Now. PUT ME DOWN!" Mia screamed. She looked around, realized that had no effect, and started screaming again. "PUT ME DOWN! I AM NOT GOING IN THERE! PUT--" Mia breathed, "ME DOWN!!!" "Stop making a scene in the store!" Kio yelled. "Unless you want a skirt." "ACK! NO! NOT THE SKIRT! ANYTHING BUT THE SKIRT!" Kio glared at her. "Okay, I'll shut up."  
  
Inside 'La Chateau' Duo looked around, and hugged the jewelry stand. "Skull necklaces! Dragon necklaces!" Duo said and pointed. Kio and Mia went running to the jewelry stand. After many 'ooohs' and many 'aaaahs' Zoe cleared her throat and steered the GW Pilots towards clothes. "Can I dress like her?" Duo asked pointing to Kio. Kio glared at him. "That depends. Do you want to wear a skirt?" Zoe asked. "As long as it's over a foot long and there are no zippers down the crotch, I'm okay." Zoe flipped through the skirts, "When I hold a skirt up, tell me if you'll wear it." "Okay." Duo answered. "Nope, no, nuh uh, ya right! Nope, no, uh uh, no, nope, no, nah, no, nope, no, no, no, nope, nah, nope, you wish, no, nah." This continued through 15 or more skirts, and then Zoe gave up. "Well pick out some you would wear!" Zoe yelled. Duo picked out about 5 and showed Zoe. "I went through all or those!" Zoe complained. Duo shrugged and admired his skirts. "Well what are you waiting for? Go try them on!' Zoe commanded shoving him into a changing room. "What?" Duo asked, shocked. "How do you know it'll fit you? Try it on!" Zoe grumped. Duo was shocked, so Zoe closed the changing room door for him. About 5 minutes later, Duo came out in a long, swishy, twirly, black skirt. The cashier began to snicker. Heero, Wufei, Trowa and even Quatre were leaning against various walls to keep them from falling over while they laughed. Duo twirled around and then asked, "Does this make me look fat?" More laughing. Zoe dried her eyes and then said, "Come out in a different skirt." Then she went back to laughing. Duo came out, but in a knee length swishy skirt. Mia whispered to Zoe, "Maybe we should have made them shave their legs first." Zoe fell into the sock bin laughing, as did Mia. The cashier's face had turned blue from trying not to laugh. A poor innocent bystander was so shocked she fell into a guys changing room, and the GW pilots and the rest of the girls were leaning against various walls or spots on the floor. Duo went back into the change-room and put on a black miniskirt. The cashier cracked, and hid behind the counter so the others wouldn't see her laughing. "Well, do you think I've got enough skirts? Do I need anything else?" Duo asked. "Yep, get some pants and a lot of shirts," Zoe replied. Duo screamed like a banshee and ran around picking clothes out. Quatre nervously asked, "Can I pick my clothes out?" Zoe replied, "As long as you pick out some skirts too, and you show them to us so we can see if they're cool or not, sure." Quatre started picking out pink shirts. "Cool, spiky collar!" came Duo's voice from the accessory isle. "Hey Wufei!" Buri called out. She was pointing to a pink bikini. "It's your new swimsuit!" "No," was Wufei's answer. "Skirt," Kio threatened. "Diff color," Wufei compromised. "SKIRT!" Kio yelled. "Weak o--"Wufei began but stopped abruptly as Kio kicked him. Trowa winced. "Kio, you just do NOT kick a guy there. that's just." Trowa shuddered. "Hmph," Kio grumped. "I am not weak. Blue sock." Trowa looked at her, "What?" "Never mind," Kio mumbled. A few hours later, the GW pilots had new clothes. Heero had a cobalt blue skirt (sparkly), several green skirts, and several shirts in various colors. Duo had his skirts, 2 pairs of black pants, one pair of denim flares, and 3 pairs of leather flares. He had several shirts, tank tops, and sweaters, all of them in black. Trowa had several pairs of pants, all in various colors, a long swishy skirt in blood red, and turtlenecks, although e was forced into buying some tank tops as well. Quatre had every article of clothing imaginable including a bikini. Everything was pink, yellow, neon green, tropical blue, purple, or orange. Wufei had a few pairs of pants, all in either black or white, many shirts, a halter top (black) and a pink bikini, which stood out as none of his clothes (other than the bikini) was bright. "Now I'll go get swimsuits with Kio, and the rest of the girls will go take you guys to the beauty place," Zoe said. She got an evil grin on her face. "Make sure to die Wufei's hair pink." Buri grinned evilly as well, "With purple streaks hm?" "Oh yes, with pretty sparkles!" Zoe continued to grin evilly. Wufei glared. "Bye guys, me and Kio gotta get Heero, Duo, and Trowa's bikinis-- I mean swimsuits, see ya later!" Zoe called as she and Kio ran off. The rest of the girls grinned evilly. "Hair time!" Mia laughed maniacally. 


	3. Acting Feminine

Mission Accepted  
  
Chapter 3: Acting Feminine  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or anything else contained in this fanfic. Don't sue me.  
  
Alright, now you see, I'd show you chapter three, but it was the crappiest thing I've ever written or read, and is extremely boring. It's more boring then reading an encyclopedia for god's sake, just warning you now, so I'm not going to post it.  
  
However, if you insist on reading it, e-mail me at mission_accepted_fic@hotmail.com, with your e-mail address and saying you'd like to read chapter 3 in the message, and I'll e-mail it to you. Okay, anyways, onto something else.  
  
  
  
I'm sooooo bored of this fanfic, however, I'm getting reviews so I might get homicidal maniacs who insist on having me write so I must continue. but. I'm too lazy. So I've got a contest going on.  
  
I might post chapter 4, but, you have to write it for me. Here's the starting of it.  
  
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Chapter 4: The Gay Bar  
  
"Okay, are you ready for your first mission girls-- er, guys-- um. people?" Rebi asked enthusiastically. "Ya," mumbled all the guys at various times. "Alright!" Rebi yelled. "Well, I suppose I should tell you what it is. Each of you has a mission partner, one of us, and we're going to a gay lesbian, bisexual bar." ".Why?" Heero asked, obviously disturbed seeing as he's straight. (They're all straight in this fic.) "Because it's where Treize Krushenada hangs out," Rebi replied bluntly. All the guys eyes bugged out. "He's GAY?!" Wufei asked. "Bisexual!" Rebi corrected. "Oh lord, have mercy!" Quatre prayed. "Yes yes, it's all very disturbing, now here's the pairings." Rebi trailed off. "Kio and Heero, Mia and Duo, Me and Trowa, Li and Quatre, and Buri and Wufei." She looked up. "Got it? Good, now get dressed for a rave."  
  
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Alright, now this is where you pick up. What you do is you continue on from there, e-mail it to mission_accepted_fic@hotmail.com, with your authors name, and if yours is the best (or only) submission, than that is what will be posted. Why, because I'm lazy. Got it? Good.  
  
-Emythae 


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